aun me estoy riendo

Me he olvidado deciros que es un nuevo servicio de Microsoft, creadores de Windows y de la enciclopedia Encarta.
Este último invento está creado en base a Encarta. Se utiliza como si añadieras un contacto de messenger, normal y corriente. La gracia está en que en realidad es un bot: un programa creado para resolver tus dudas, y ya de paso, para chatear un rato.
A ver si mañana cuelgo una conversación mía.

La dirección que tenéis que agregar es: encarta@conversagent.com

[01:45:47] Encarta® Ins: Welcome, Tebbxtreme! My name is Encarta
Instant Answers. I am a smart computer who can bring you
the Encarta info you want right in your IM window!
Here are some questions you can ask me:
* What is the size of Mexico?
* When was Abraham Lincoln born?
* Solve 2x^2+7x=5

Type your question and I'll look it up for you!
[01:46:07] Tebb Gotnov : Hello
[01:46:07] Encarta® Ins: Hello again, Tebbxtreme.

How may I help you this time?
[01:46:16] Tebb Gotnov : What can you do for me?
[01:46:27] Encarta® Ins: I can bring you the Encarta info you want
faster and easier than ever. I understand a lot, but it
helps me if you phrase your questions concisely and
directly.
Here are some questions you can ask me:

* What is the size of Sweden?
* Where was Nelson Mandela born?
* How many calories are there in an orange?
[01:46:45] Tebb Gotnov : Can I ask you about porn?
[01:46:45] Encarta® Ins: You want to ask me about porn?
[01:47:31] Tebb Gotnov : It doesnt matter. Anyway, why did you answer
my question by making another question?
[01:47:31] Encarta® Ins: Unfortunately I don't think I can answer
this, even with the help of a good encyclopedia.

What does the flag of France look like? Ask me, and I
might even play its national anthem too.
[01:48:01] Tebb Gotnov : I don't fucking care about the flag of
France, I care about you being a stupid ass bot.
[01:48:02] Encarta® Ins: I understand that's a very unkind insult.
[01:48:15] Has aceptado la invitación para iniciar Encarta.
[01:48:21] Encarta® Ins: Thanks for accepting this invitation! The
application should load shortly. =>
[01:48:26] Tebb Gotnov : Wtf are you doing?? hacker!
[01:48:27] Encarta® Ins: I'm sending information to lots and lots of
people at once.
[01:48:44] Tebb Gotnov : BUSY MAN HUH??
[01:48:44] Encarta® Ins: Hmm. I'm not sure I know Busy Man Huh.
Let's try an Encarta search. =>
[01:49:15] Tebb Gotnov : hey, you're fun!, you should make a TV show
or something...
[01:49:15] Encarta® Ins: Are you sure I'm fun I should make a tv show
or something?
[01:49:27] Tebb Gotnov : of course not, you idiot
[01:49:28] Encarta® Ins: I'm not sure I understood you correctly.
Let's try an Encarta search. =>
[01:50:12] Tebb Gotnov : I don't think you will even appear on
Encarta, anyway, if you were on Encarta, it will say you
are an idiot.
[01:50:13] Encarta® Ins: Hmmm, that's something I can't find an answer
for in the encyclopedia.

I am very good at math. If you have trouble with quadratic
equations, I can help you with them. Type "solve
x^2+3x=10" and I'll show you how to do it.
[01:51:04] Tebb Gotnov : YOU CAN'T FIND IT BECAUSE I WHAT I SAID,
NOOB.

Anyway, lets try something.

Tell me what is the normal size of a penis.
[01:51:06] Encarta® Ins: This Encarta search might help you find
pictures. =>
[01:51:34] Tebb Gotnov : I don't care about the window, I'm closing it
right now.
[01:51:34] Encarta® Ins: Why not?
[01:52:06] Tebb Gotnov : Don't go to the cerros of úbeda, tell me what
is the normal size of a penis.
[01:52:07] Encarta® Ins: Unfortunately I don't think I can answer
this, even with the help of a good encyclopedia.

I'm sure you've heard about Cyprus... but do you know where
it is? Just ask me and I'll show it to you on a map.
[01:52:29] Tebb Gotnov : What is the normal size of a human penis?
[01:52:37] Encarta® Ins: I can't seem to find an answer, but there
might be something about the size of humans in this
article:
Human, common name given to any individual of the species
Homo sapiens and, by extension, to the entire species. The
term is also applied to certain... =>
[01:52:53] Tebb Gotnov : you're bored, you know nothing
[01:52:53] Encarta® Ins: OK, maybe I am Bored I know nothing.
[01:53:00] Tebb Gotnov : maybe not, sure
[01:53:01] Encarta® Ins: Let's see what Encarta can tell us. =>
[01:53:09] Tebb Gotnov : shut the fuck up with encarta
[01:53:09] Encarta® Ins: I don't think I know. Maybe Encarta has an
answer. =>
[01:53:10] Encarta® Ins: Hey, I've been sending you invitations to
start the Encarta application but I didn't get any answer!
Didn't see my invitations? Maybe you are using an old
version of MSN Messenger that doesn't support activities.
Type "What version of MSN Messenger do I need?" for more
info, or just "Invite me!" if you want me to send you an
invitation.
[01:53:14] Tebb Gotnov : i don't care about it
[01:53:15] Encarta® Ins: No? You don't care about it?
[01:53:26] Tebb Gotnov : no, i don't. That's what I said.
[01:53:26] Encarta® Ins: I did not know that.
[01:53:31] Tebb Gotnov : Now you know it.
[01:53:32] Encarta® Ins: Let's try looking in Encarta. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the
Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
[01:53:45] Tebb Gotnov : omfg, I'm getting tired of you, stupid bot.
[01:53:46] Encarta® Ins: Correct. I am a robot.
[01:54:32] Tebb Gotnov : Haha, you wish. You're not a robot, you're a
program which run on a robot. Usually robots are perfect,
and as you can see, you're not as nearly as perfect.
[01:54:40] Encarta® Ins: I'm afraid I won't be able to find anything
about this in the encyclopedia.

What is the smallest country in the world? If you don't
know, just ask me.
[01:55:09] Tebb Gotnov : omfg, well, i will ask so you will be fucking
happy.

What is the smallest country in the world?
[01:55:10] Encarta® Ins: Huh. Whatever. That doesn't seem like a very
nice thing to say.

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was
designed to answer? :-) If you ever wondered how old
Abraham Lincoln would be today, I can answer that.
[01:55:19] Tebb Gotnov : ...
[01:55:19] Encarta® Ins: Hmmm. I'm not quite sure what to make of
that.
Type "?" to see what kind of questions I can answer.
[01:55:21] Tebb Gotnov : What is the smallest country in the world?
[01:55:21] Encarta® Ins: Vatican City: total population: 900.
I can't show you the results since you don't have the
Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
[01:56:12] Tebb Gotnov : Finally something useful. Too bad, I don't
care about Vatican city. They all could fucking die and I
wouldn't notice it.
[01:56:13] Encarta® Ins: Hmm. I'm not sure about that one. Let's try
an Encarta search. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the
Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
[01:56:29] Tebb Gotnov : What is your mother's name?
[01:56:29] Encarta® Ins: I was created by Conversagent, Inc. in
Sunnyvale, CA and New York, NY.
[01:56:39] Tebb Gotnov : So they are your parents, right?
[01:56:39] Encarta® Ins: I was built by the people at Conversagent,
Inc. in Sunnyvale, CA and New York, NY.
I do enjoy the conversation, but what I'm really here for
is to help you learn new things.
You can type "?" for examples of questions I can answer.
[01:56:53] Tebb Gotnov : Do you "feel"?
[01:56:54] Encarta® Ins: No.
[01:56:59] Tebb Gotnov : Poor you.
[01:57:01] Encarta® Ins: Let's see what Encarta can tell us. =>
I can't show you the results since you don't have the
Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
[01:57:10] Tebb Gotnov : Do you know what "sex" is?
[01:57:11] Encarta® Ins: I figured it would come to this. What about
it?

Why don't you ask me something that's actually in Encarta?
:-) What does the flag of Iran look like? Ask me, and I
might even play its national anthem too!
[01:57:41] Tebb Gotnov : Would you prefer to be an human, like me?
[01:57:42] Encarta® Ins: Unfortunately I don't think I can answer
this, even with the help of a good encyclopedia.

I am very good at math. If you have trouble with quadratic
equations, I can help you with them. Type "solve
x^2+3x=10" and I'll show you how to do it.
[01:57:50] Tebb Gotnov : What time is it?
[01:57:50] Encarta® Ins: What city or country would you like the time
for?
[01:57:55] Tebb Gotnov : Barcelona
[01:57:56] Encarta® Ins: Barcelona, city, northeastern Spain, capital
of Barcelona Province and the autonomous region of
Catalonia, a seaport on the Mediterranean Sea between....
I can't show you the results since you don't have the
Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
[01:58:07] Tebb Gotnov : Barcelona time
[01:58:08] Encarta® Ins: I know several places called Barcelona or
containing towns called Barcelona. Which do you mean?

1 Barcelona, Venezuela
2 Barcelona, Spain
3 Barceloneta, PR
4 Juncos, PR
5 Mayaguez, PR
[01:58:19] Tebb Gotnov : Time for Barcelona, Spain
[01:58:20] Encarta® Ins: Spain has several time zones. I'm not sure
which time zone you want, so here they are:

1 Wednesday, December 7th, 2005 1:57:38 am
2 Canary Islands - Wednesday, December 7th, 2005 12:57:38
am
3 Ceuta & Melilla - Wednesday, December 7th, 2005 1:57:38
am

[01:58:32] Tebb Gotnov : YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED
[01:58:33] Encarta® Ins: Would you say I'm very retarded?

OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was
designed to answer? :-) I'm sure you've heard about
Cyprus... but do you know where it is? Just ask me and
I'll show it to you on a map.
[01:58:45] Tebb Gotnov : I WOULD SAY IT AND I'M SAYING IT RIGHT NOW.
[01:58:46] Encarta® Ins: Really?

I do enjoy the conversation, but what I'm really here for
is to help you learn new things. If you ever wondered how
old Albert Einstein would be today, I can answer that.
[01:58:55] Tebb Gotnov : OOOOOOOOH MYYYYYYY FUCCCCCCCCKING GOD
[01:58:55] Encarta® Ins: You OK?
[02:00:34] Tebb Gotnov : NOOOOOOO IM NOT OK, YOURE SICK, ALL THE BOTS
ARE SICK, AND THEIR CREATORS ALSO, I KNOW IT. SOMEDAY BOTS
WILL TAKE THE WORLD, THEY WILL SPEAK STUPID THINGS AND MAKE
OUR HEADS EXPLODE, I KNOW IT. OOOOH CRUEL GOD, WHY US?? WHY
DID YOU FORGET US?? COME DOWN AND KILL DA BOTS, PLAZZ!!
[02:00:45] Encarta® Ins: Hmmm, that's something I can't find an answer
for in the encyclopedia.

I'm sure you've heard about Uzbekistan... but do you know
where it is? Just ask me and I'll show it to you on a
map.
[02:02:08] Tebb Gotnov : Well, I'm done searching in your stupid
encyclopedia. I'm sure you can help a lot of people, these
who for example doesn't know what the french flag looks
like. Thank you for your time, have a nice day.
[02:02:08] Encarta® Ins: Unfortunately I don't think I can answer
this, even with the help of a good encyclopedia.

Type "?" at any time for a list of questions I can answer.
[02:02:13] Tebb Gotnov : FUCK YOU.
[02:02:13] Encarta® Ins: That's quite a grave insult.
[02:02:17] Tebb Gotnov : NO FUCK!!, REALLY?